The correct substance for the occasion.

So, I have been crafting crafting crafting...then saving saving saving. This has been my life as of recently. I've complained to Doug recently that EVERYONE does what I do, and they do it better than me. Well, I've been trying to carve the sewing slice from the crafter's pie as my own. Its going, slowly and artfully, pokingly and swearingly...


Diapers/Wipes case-Razorback.



Fabric Flower Necklace.



This was a recent transaction at Walmart with my deal swiping I've been doing. The total price (before tax!) was $74.20. The price below it, $43.46 was my actual bill!! So technically, because tax hadn't been added on the first price, I can say I pretty much paid half. I used BOGO coupons on shampoo/conditioner, $10 off rechargable toothbrush coupon for Lil, and several other simple coupons...after swiping my walmart discount card, of course :) The WM discount card was used first so I could take full advantage of the 10% off before using my BOGO and major coupons...basically if I hadn't, my discount would have been smaller if I had taken those off the receipt before I could discount it all because those items wouldn't have been on there.


Here was one of my recent deals. I first bought the Schick razor blades first, which was $7.99. I used $5 in Register Rewards (Money manufacturers give to customers for buying their products at Walgreens, they work like cash, except they can only be used at Walgreens) from a previous visit, which brought it to $3. Then I used a manufacturer coupon from the newspaper, which was $1.50 off and my total cost for those razors was $1.50. I know, right?!?! Originally $10, combined with store deals and manufacturer deals, I paid $1.50. That's an 85% savings, folks. And by buying them, I earned $4.50 in Register Rewards for my next purchase. Which happened about 30 seconds later, I broke up my order into two transactions specifically so I could use the Register Rewards to save again. The Excedrin was a Buy One Get One 1/2 off, any count. I bought a medium sized one, and a small sized one. The big one was $8.99 and the small was $4.99. Buying the medium brought the small to $2.50, so $8.99+$2.50=$11.99. There was a coupon in the newspaper for the small one for $1.50 off, and I found a coupon on the large one for $3. $11.99-$1.50-$3=$7.50. Considering both combined at normal price is $17, I saved nearly $10. Using my Register Rewards from my transaction just before brought it to $3. Amazing! The oatmeal was 2/$3 (uhm, I eat a LOT of oatmeal. Like, every day. So I was excited, hush!!) and normally $3/ea. Total so far: $6. Deodorant on special 2/$4. Coupon in newspaper for $.75 off one. $1 in Register Rewards. I had to buy another item because you must have more items than coupons in your order. So I found nail clippers 2/$1 (actual deal on those too, haha) and it brought my total to $10.25+tax, with $1 in Register Rewards for next time. BOOM. Yes, it really is amazing. Don't let this overwhelm you, once you get into it its actually fun :D It overwhelmed me for a long time and I didn't want to try it because it seemed difficult. But looking at this and seeing how much money I'm saving for us is such a huge reward! If you follow Money Saving Mom you can learn how to too. She also has a facebook fan page, she posts deals on there regularly!!



Here's some beef and deli meat from Bentonville Butcher and Deli. I bought the Living Social deal for it, which was $10 for $20 worth. I had deal bucks in my LS account, and I only paid $5. So basically I received $15 in beef for free. I bought ground beef to get more bang for my buck since everything there is premium priced, and then of course tried a little pork sausage and deli turkey. This is 5.5 lbs of beef/turkey I bought for $11.25, saving $15. Sweet. I also found a $10 for $20 at Gusano's pizza I will be using this week. All this free money laying around these parts and I never tapped into it. WHYYYY?!?! Allen's in BV has a facebook page and they post daily deals. This past week was $1 on any bratwurst or frankfurter. These are normally $3.50. I bought 5, saving $17. So if anyone wants to grill soon :D Now, you know all my secrets. Go my child, save more money...but don't clear out the shelves if you get a deal, that's just scrappy. I'm taking the hippie approach of "SAVE AND SHARE".



Check this out. Doug and I really sat down and looked at this specific nursery rhyme. It reads: "Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater, Had a wife but couldn't keep her, He put her in a pumpkin shell, and there he kept her very well. Peter Peter pumpkin eater, Had another but didn't love her, Peter learned to read and spell, and then he loved her very well." What?! From this, I deduct Peter was a polygamist. And maybe kidnapped his first wife, holding her hostage in a pumpkin shell. Who writes this crap? And why is it a nursery rhyme? Many old nursery rhymes are actually crazy. Like Three Blind Mice. Everyone knows this one. Hardly anyone would know its thought this particular nursery rhyme is about Queen Mary I, daughter of Henry Tudor (the one that cut off all his wives heads when he was tired of them). She supposedly had a vengeful temper, and an adamant catholic. England was going through hard times battling for catholic and protestant queens (queen Elizabeth would later be the protestant queen of England) and when her half sister Mary was queen before her she beheaded three protestant bishops who were in her way of returning the country to catholic following. They weren't blinded, but she's the farmer's wife and they're the mice. "Seems crude, but have sweet dreams dear child!!" hahaha...Ring around the Rosie was debunked, or I would have included this. I totally believed it had referred to the black plague in Europe, "ashes ashes we all fall down" about the cremation and deaths, but apparently that's a myth. Its on snopes, or I wouldn't have believed it. Whatevvv....



Look at this sick baby :( We're better now, but she was still very stylish for being sick!!



Ladies, never underestimate how much people appreciate your tweezing/makeup globbing/hair smoothing. Making an effort on presentation truly does make everyone's day better. My trash man has seen me a total of TWO times looking decent, and today I caught him slowing WAAAAAYYY down to see if I would come running out after missing last week. Which I did. I swear he comes earlier and earlier all the time. Maybe he just likes to see a damsel in (trash) distress. Perhaps its more because I had night shorts on, and no bra so I was bounding and leaping freely after HIM. hahahaha...gross, I knew that was too much even before writing it. He happily turned his truck around in my cul-de-sac (after a few spurts of backing up and maneuvering) and did me great service. Of which I rewarded him with this hair and menstrual blemishes on my face:



Hey, I didn't say he made a good investment...


Two old men in the same day at different grocery stores both replied cheerfully that I could (accidentally) "run" into them any time I wanted. Which makes me giggle in girly delight. After reading Captivating by Eldridge, I am invincible. You should be too, because you are beautiful and captivating, a stunning reveal of God's beauty and grace. Ahh, I love...

I have a bachelorette party I'm attending this weekend in Little Rock. I am sure there will be tons of great girly incidents to report on my next post. And yes, Kestan has been here, but I've shut her up with a good amount of cookies and a promise we wouldn't run again just yet. She is mildly entertained in a sugar coma, watching Fantasia for the 60th time even though I told her I really don't think sugar is the correct substance for the occasion. Of course, she wouldn't listen.

-Kesolyn

I swear I'm not borderline psychotic.

So here I am sitting here finally relaxing after a hugely draining few days, Kestan beside me drinking a vodka cherry diet dr. pepper concoction, watching Wanted.

"This is amazing." Kestan purrs.

"We've seen this before." I mumble.

"But the ridiculous effects every adrenaline junkie could want, and Jolie looks hot. It's the essence of how I feel when he finally blows up on everyone, they get me." she continues.

"Yes yes, you just think it's amazing because you put too much vodka in your disgusting drink and you're too relaxed." I snap.

"I asked you'd if you wanted one. I thought that was why you put your kids to bed early. I'm glad you did, that cupcake after dinner was a stupid idea. The big one was a Donnie Darko miniature, the sugary cupcake was the white rabbit tonight who tumbled down the hole and started controlling her thoughts. Didn't you even hear her divinely evil laugh? I could swear she's my blood."

"I didn't put them to bed that early." I mumble, defensively.

"An HOUR early?!?!?" she yells, obviously exaggerating with her stupid mocking tone.

"You told me to do it. They've had a long weekend. You're so freaking full of oxymorons tonight, aren't you?! Why can't you just stay at the Double Tree?" I grunt.

"It's called a metaphor. Sh*t it's a good thing youve got me around, people might think you're actually raised in Arkansas, not just born here. You're lucky, you might remember that. I chose YOU. Who would have yelled at the kids earlier when they didn't listen the first time you told them to do something? And yet there you were apologizing ten minutes later. You're ridiculous, such a sucker for those..."gremlins." You're going to confuse them you know, we need to be on the same page. Go hard or go home, pansy. Grow a backbone. And go buy us a cigarette."

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It's been like this All.Freaking.Week. Okay, maybe just the past few days. She's been hanging around especially when I'm tired, or rushed for time. She made a surprising appearance Friday night at the Murder Mystery party. You could really tell she was having a great time playing the mouthy family tramp. She stayed afterwards for a couple of (large) glasses of wine and poor Borat imitation out on the back deck. It was such a blast! We were the dysfunctional southern Sugarbaker family, wealthy from a few businesses in Atlanta, GA. I married into the family money, my husband a gambling sleazy liar, Big Daddy on verge of keeling over and coincidentally bestowing gobs of money upon us, while we fight over who deserves it with the drunkard uncle, overly sensitive younger son, his yuppie Yankee wife, the nut job ex wife, and loyal upstanding nurse. We all dressed for the part and had the audience participate, when we didn't get carried away mouthing off to one another anyways hahah...such a blast! I definitely suggest it if you haven't gone or participated in one before-you can order a script kit online!


I actually ran half a mile this week before stopping to walk. I realize runners and wives of runners think that's hardly a taste, but BIG accomplishment for me. And then I did it again. The last mile wasnt quite so easy, however. I was in the ZONE, thinking positive thoughts and not doubting myself...

"You know, it would be easy to just quit now. Nobody would know!!" I hear.

"Shut UP. I'm doing this and you won't be talking me out of it."

"Well Jesus, slow down a little...it took me the whole first mile to catch up." she slithers with her two-pronged tongue. Wheezing, obviously exaggerating her planned death scene. Interrupting the peaceful and tranquil rhythm I had going, promptly throwing it on the ground and stomping on it, all the while telling me there's useless baby kittens in it. Treating it like it was hers to ruin. Witch.

"Let's say I just throw one of these your way, you turn around slowly like you're fighting it, and we talk over a cigarette from the pack you pretend you don't know are on the counter..." she continues. I practically double over from jogging position in the side PAIN she promised, cursing and yelling a throaty and aggravated (AHHH!!!) while I continue trudging forward.

But I power through it. Keep running, keep looking up and letting Adele sooth my mind and pain away. My throat is fairly dry like it usually is the second mile. Small acidic belch flees...

"You're getting better, you almost threw up but you turned it into a hairy burp. Your face was really disgusting when you did it though. Too bad you're not one of those who is photogenic ALL the time, cause that face will be burned in my mind when you tell me you're running again. I have a photographic memory, which is usually a good thing except you were like this" (double chin, mouth corners pointed down, lips bared, eyes half closed and crossed obnoxious burping noise that sounded nothing like me) "and it resembled Jabba Hut. You sounded like the wookie though. Like maybe they slept together once at their after party and later birthed you out their va..."

"OKAY, I freaking get it. I REALLY hate you sometimes. You're extremely crass and overly abrasive today, even for you." I seeth through tight lips. And then I can't help it, even though I'm extremely irritated my curiosity gets the best of me and I ask--"Why a 'hairy' burp?"

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Here's a random couple of pictures from some yummy recipes we've tried!



Stuffed Meatballs. Stuffed with what you ask? Mozzarella!




Stuffed chicken prosciutto. Yum. Stuffed themed week I guess.




My poor babe fell asleep on her mini pillow pet while momma shopped. She's obsessed with the bee.




And again randomly after she hurt her foot and needed a minute to chill from hardcore playing...




I made bows. Sick of paying bookoos for bows we always seem to lose. Boys have it so easy!




I stole a tiny baby...for about 20 minutes...in her own home...




Made a family tree painting for a baby shower I co-hosted! The "leaves" were guests thumbprints and they signed by their thumbprint.





Added pretty fabric border for pizzazz. You are free to pin this to Pinterest. Fabric glue, super sharp scissors. We had such a blast, I looked up the tree idea and some super fun games! Hoping to see more pictures soon?

That's my weeks in pictures :D I haven't read in about 6 weeks, pretty mixed feelings about that. Happy to be busy, sad to feel I'm losing momentum in that area! I'm off to do whatever it is I do between posts.

-Kesolyn


Editor's Note: If this is the first post you are reading, I swear I'm not borderline psychotic if you don't know what the 'Kestan' biz is. It was a joke that has really taken like fire. She "comes out" when I'm tired, hungry, cranky, PMSing, or had one too many choice beverages. She's my skinny, big headed scape goat. And after watching The Beaver with Mel Gibson, I seriously reconsidered my act...