Fun sucker. Jerk.

Everyone has something that keeps them going, something that frees them from the stresses of weekly life. I say weekly, because in my life, I don’t always have daily stresses. I quite enjoy the balance in my life, and I can honestly say I will look back later in life and say I am glad I had these years at home with the girls. Daily frustrations, that’s a better way to explain it.

My frustrations are released through sarcasm, witty but cutting banter. This, I have control of. I let Kestan fully take over. Kestan comes to life when I am sick, stressed, tired, hungry, migraine-y, down, angry, and sad. She makes mean jokes, snaps quickly, has a quick temper, irritable, and just in general needs to be avoided. After a particularly long day or evening, you can find her sipping on a bottle of red wine, soaking in much pleasure while watching misery shows. Misery shows, are shows created to make you feel better watching someone else’s stupidity or desperation. Wipeout, for example, watching desperate people bound and leap for a chance at 10k. Idiots. Kestan laughs heartily when they look stupid, having no control over the situations. This is not a case of double personality, more or less a FULL personality. Kestan has been visiting (intruding) today. Without calling, or even knocking. She just bulldozed right in, bringing her loud, obnoxious self and sprawling herself out all over my couch, even having the nerve to ask me for cookies. She’s annoyed because she drank too much coffee, and now has the jitters. She’s annoyed because she doesn’t want to clean the house, because its always a mess just a few minutes after she’s cleaned it. I try telling her she will feel better if the house is clean, that clutter is in fact stressful on 80% of people. She tells me I am making that up. Liar. We argue for a while, I tell her she’s sucking the life out of me today. Fun sucker. Jerk. And NO, I DIDN’T MAKE THE DAMN COOKIES FOR YOU!!!! That’s right, I went there, came back, and slapped yo momma with that one.

I will send your mom an apology letter later…please send my reguards.

This semester is looking rough for Doug, for the three days he was off he did nothing but homework. Literally. From the moment after breakfast, until dinner, then after dinner til bed time. I hate that. He is seriously considering finding a part time, or less demanding job with more regular hours. This is a hard decision, and we are praying about it. We appreciate the security we currently have, but he’s running himself dog tired and spreading too thin. A job at the school would be awesome and ideal! Unfortunately, its extremely difficult making that happen. And of course, this is all hypothetical. This is my opinion. Wal-Mart has shown us nothing of the kind and family oriented workplace they have promoted of themselves. Empty promises. One would have to push to make things happen, and even then you wouldn’t get very far by yourself. Ask yourself, do you know ANYONE who is actually happy with the way things work at Wal-Mart? No.

Lillian is a funny baby. She laughs at everything, so easy. We currently have a hitting problem, when she’s frustrated or told no. Its not really even hitting, because its so light, but she does it in a way to make herself clear about what she means by it. This is a hard habit for me to break. I’ve tried several different ways of handling this, including ignoring it. This makes her hit harder and faster, with yelling. I’ve hit her back, softly in her belly to show her how it feels. This makes her cry and I feel bad. I’ve been told to try squeezing her hand lightly, its not supposed to feel good. I’ve done this most often, but she laughs!! She looks at me, opens her mouth as if to cry, and laughs!! Ahahaha…then she gives me the grinning “I’m so naughty but its funny” face and I have to turn away so I can laugh. This does NOT help my situation!! I love her too much. I know I’m turning her into a stinker. I will fix this, eventually.

This is one of the cutest pictures, they’re both sick, watching a Baby Einstein. Why does sitting in something special make them feel better? I have no idea!!




We watched Alpha and Omega last pizza/movie night. I really don’t recommend it, its not that great and has adult innuendo that was not only inappropriate, but not funny either. Don’t waste your time on that one! I can’t wait til we can get our hands on Tangled!!

I suppose I should end this and run out to the store to prepare for the ice storm that’s coming. Stuff like this always seems to happen when Doug has to work. Ugh. Don’t forget to make snow ice cream!! :D

-Kesolyn

p.s. I've realized how truly blessed I am recently. My silly personality probably overshadows that, but I know we are only here because God has allowed us to come this far. I am thankful that I can be who I am, and still serve an amazing God! I have grown spiritually a great deal this past year, and I appreciate everyone's support in this process. I love you all!!

"A dark side where all my inappropriate jokes dwell."

There are a few things in my life that bring me joy throughout my day.

We have recently acquired the funniest little dog from a friend who is overworked and over-schooled. She thinks she is attention starved, and always feels the need to touch me, to lay on me if I am still. Very much so a lap dog. I do not mind this. At any given time, and although there are many spots to claim, there are four of us occupying one space on the couch. I, naturally, am to act as the base. Sitting beside me, is Addie. Lillian is standing at my feet leaning against me. Meelo, the dog, is fighting for lap space with Addie. She believes she is a third child. I don’t believe she has ever known herself to be a dog, but simply another person with some sort of super-natural ability to grow thick body hair and a heightened sense of smell to detect what we have eaten by our burps. She has an underbite, which is quite comical on occasion…such as when she’s mad, sulking or just plain furious, she cocks her head over her shoulder (back naturally on you) to look you square in the eyes, underbite screaming “B*tch, pleeeease.”. She’s got jokes. Because of these moments, I always pounce on the ability to laugh hysterically when she misjudges distance, and falls off the couch. Or, say when she walks through the yard, stepping lightly and sometimes scurrying away from possibly having just stepped on one of her bombs. In my head, she’s saying “Damnit! It got on me! Why don’t you clean this place up!” Muahahaha, I laugh, evilly standing there watching her. THAT’S why. I like to presume everyone has a certain feel for how their dogs would be if they could talk. This, is mine.

I finished The Art of Racing in the Rain by Mark Stein, this is probably the source of my point above. This book is every bit as awesome as the reviews say. You may think its silly at first, being written from the family dog’s view points, but it is in fact a good read. He has a dark sense of humor that totally appeals to me, as I have a dark side where all my inappropriate jokes dwell. I can’t say too much without giving away important parts, but I definitely recommend it!

Its amazing how children can change and adapt to their surroundings, flourishing in less than fairytale homes. I truly believe God made children easily adaptable and quick to heal just for such cases. Its funny how dreams change, but still come true all the time. People overlook these small miracles throughout their lives. New dreams emerge practically overnight, keeping pace with our daily life, which ALWAYS evolves. We once dreamed of owning a home. Achieved. We dreamed of going back to school, half achieved. We dream of whisking away for the weekend to some magical island any time we pleased and having the freedom to do so with no responsibilities. Achie…well, still working on that one. When I first became a mom, my dream was for my child to survive me learning how to become a parent. Since nobody has died from my experimental meals, or extreme mood swings once a month, I think that deserves a check. Big thanks to Big Mack Daddy above who surely has made this possible. He really did right by us, creating us in a way that makes us adore our children, becoming fiercely protective of their safety, even from ourselves. Suppose that’s why we become so irrational and uptight after having a baby? I like to think that the parents who don’t care and do more harm to their children than good are more closely related to RATS. Rats (in a Norway study) will actually eat their young. Disgusting vermon who possibly don’t deserve to multiply. You all know someone who is like this. You (like me) might possibly even be related to these, rats.

Recently, I called in to pay an outrageous electric bill. After I gave her my information and begrudgingly paid it, I asked if there was some sort of spike or new fee for everyone last month. She tells me it was an estimated bill!! What the hell! She tells me “It appears, and I’m not sure why, but your meter was never read so it was estimated to be that much.” Great. I have a lazy bastard meter reader assigned to my route. And because I didn’t bother to open with that question, I had already paid and couldn’t get that back. Thanks a lot. Goodbye extra $80.

I am also in an ongoing (but healthy) argument on whether or not pancakes in an aerosol can are awesome or not…

I think I’m going to start a bucket list! I’ve already checked one off recently, it took me way out of my comfort zone. I love control. I am a control freak. My name is Keslyn…blah blah blah. But I did it!

Go for your dreams, shoot for the stars!! (and whatever else the pitiful self help books shove down deep in your mind)

-Kesolyn

"Got Jesus on my necklaces-ezz-ezz…"

I feel like on more than one occasion recently, there’s been a LOT of broadcasts on relationship problems. I am no relationship expert. We could talk more, make more time to communicate. Have you heard the terms, “Make love”? I saw a movie recently that explained it quite well. “Making love” doesn’t just refer to the physical aspect, but as in “Make love work”. As in TRY, fail and stumble, but TRY. I can understand if you fell in love, and that person turned out to be a crazed psychopath who sucked the life out of you, bared bloody fangs and then you decided to end it. What I mean though, is people making a commitment, then bailing when the times get hard. I won’t lie, I do tend to follow the “fight or flight” rules when under stress, visa vie smaller problems. This TRYing thing seems to have ended after my generation. Falling in love, tearing each other apart, attempting poorly to nurse the mangled remains. Moving on. Within a matter of weeks. Being suddenly in love, again!! “This is perfect, it will last, I’ve found my other half!!” REPEAT. Idiots. Life could certainly hurt a lot less. We eventually become numb to it, just another day, another rumor. So, to my younger generations, please stop this lunacy. You’re screwing up the world my kids will eventually live in!!

Molars!! We are working on cutting molars! This is the least amount of fun for her…I feel so bad, but I just can’t help but squeeze her and accept her loving sobs all over my shirt. I rocked her for 20 minutes! Well, she’s always been a lovey baby, and I can do this any time, but its that special feeling when the only person that can make it feel better is YOU. I just love her!! Still major slinkage when she doesn’t want to be made to walk…hilarious crumpling to the ground and absolute refusal. “No.” Hahah…She’s such a diva.

My aunt pointed out that my kids sleep nearly 12 hours at night, plus a two-three hour nap. I now understand just how lucky I am!! I can’t help but wonder why I would ever want to add a third to the mix and mess that up?!?

I was singing Taylor Swift’s (of ALL people, of ALL songs in the world) December, its one of those that just sticks in my head.

Addie is eating lunch, she asks me “Mom, can you sing (insert sudden dark/low voice noise) Got Jesus on my necklaces-ezz-ezz…”

Ahahahahaha…I laughed and laughed!! There’s only so much children’s singing and country and KLRC a mom can take, and this is one of my favorite up-beat songs. I am shamefully a fan of Ke$ha. She’s in the same category as Miley Ray Cyrus. I like her too, I’m a closet MRC lover. Party in the USA really did that one in for me…Doug thinks he’s married a 15 year old. I am young at heart, let me be young at heart and dumb!!! I’m well rounded, I like everything!!

Addie is doing great at everything, she loves to learn. We breezed through X, Y, Z flashcards reading each word fairly easily. This kid even uses the potty, wipes herself, then puts herself to bed for a nap. This makes me wonder what I really am doing with my free time since both my kids are independent and very capable…I need a hobby. Suggestions? (This obviously has to be something I can learn myself, and at home during breaks!)

Inception. Amazing movie. Amazingly confusing if you’re not paying attention. LeoDi in that one. Buried, Ryan Reynolds…I’m not sure I would watch it ever again. He was nominated for his role? Shocking, this was filmed with just him, in a box, buried alive. Obviously, given the title. Due Date, Zach Galafianakis, Robert Downey Jr. I think if you’re a teenager, or a drunk man, this would be funnier. I’m just NOT a fan of RDJ cursing and using the F word so much. He’s such a classy guy!! I like dumb movies, in fact I will watch Anchorman, Mean Girls, or Hangover if its on any channel, but this was a low level of comedy I even found distasteful. (“My father, the inventor of toaster strudel, wouldn’t be too pleased to hear about this.” haha)

The Amazing Loaf
1 pkg McCormick’s meatloaf seasoning
1 lb. ground beef
1 TBSP olive oil
1 small Vidalia or yellow onion, chopped
1 celery stalk, sliced
2 carrots, chopped
2 small potatoes, chopped
1 egg
Handful of bread crumbs
1 teaspoon celery salt
Pepper (to taste)
1 pkg McCormick’s brown gravy mix

Heat oven to 400 degree. Give the frying pan a good glug of olive oil, then over medium-high heat cook the onions, celery, carrots, and potatoes until soft, about 10-15 minutes, salt and pepper slightly. Remove from heat and cool. In a large bowl, mix ground beef, meatloaf seasoning, celery salt, pepper, egg, bread crumbs, and cooled pan ingredients until fairly blended. Shape into two loaves, in a 9x13 pan and bake for approx 35 minutes, checking for doneness. While meatloaf is baking, make brown gravy mix according to package. Serve with buttered peas, and rolls!! YUM…great alternative to ordinary meatloaf.

I will hopefully be attempting to try making homemade dish detergent, HERE. MoneySavingMom.com is a great website I encourage penny pinchers to check out, she teaches you a lot of things and there's tons of helpful advice as well as fun stuff!! I also read putting distilled vinegar in the jet dry spot will help with dish cloudiness? My SIL puts bleach in the bottom to be sure they’re extra clean. My MIL boils dish detergent on the stove to clean hard to remove black burn remains. I guess I married into a family of intelligence here!! They know everything!! I will also try my first deal scenario using coupons and in-store coupons coupled with sales this week. I’m really not sure I’m coupon using and deal swindling material, not to this extreme but it should be interesting 

Happy Monday!
Kesolyn

P.S. I am addicted to Angry Birds, the game on iPhone/iPad (or the “I” own you technology). I have wasted SO much time bombarding those pigs, and they just keep laughing at me!!!

“SNIIIIIIIIIPPP.”

I have to start this blog off with a funny story:

Doug has his hair cut, maybe once a month. I think this is more of a rebellious “I can grow my hair out if I want” phase leftover from army life. (This includes facial hair, full beard and moustache) When he has it cut, he also has them trim his beard and moustache for him. He generally comes home looking very suave and attractive, and most of the time I can’t leave him alone for a few days afterwards 
I was up close to his face before he was leaving for work (because he’s just so good looking when its neatly trimmed!) and noticed one stray hair sticking 4 cm past his other hairs. I poke fun, he tells me to fix it. Very hastily, I grab the best scissors we have that we normally use for trimming hair, and snip it off.

Here’s the sound: “SNIIIIIIIIIPPP.”

The number of i’s represent how many I actually cut off.
Not my best work. His eyes buldge, widening and narrowing at the same time, mostly in my direction. I think my heart was still beating, it was in my throat but it was beating. Fast.
“No no no, its fine babe. Really.” I can’t help but laugh as he goes to the mirror. Facial hair is definitely ONE thing proud men like to have nicely grown, perhaps sometimes burly looking depending on the taste. Awesome!! It was a little patch. R.I.P. Little Patch.

Its been a very interesting winter break (I’m now and as always on Doug’s schedule time wise. I am now referring to blog dates as reference in school schedules!). Our heat was off, many many times. We had men come out at least 6 different times, two different companies. This is extremely irritating, as well as heavy on the pockets. Wires, control boards, cleaning, tidying up, replacing, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning has taken place. We might have the world’s cleanest and best running system that has been checked and re-checked, and is in full working order. (for now, until it breaks down again. I no longer have faith in the piece of junk)

I can honestly and safely recommend Steve Reeves of Reeves Heating and Cooling in Rogers, AR. Great guy, efficient, not a talker. Gets the job done, with the right tools, that he ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO USE.

We had date night!! Grandma and Auntie gave Addie two fun filled nights away, she thought it was the best thing to ever happen to her. I scored on a wonderful babysitter for Lil one night, and we were off. Dinner at Texas Land and Cattle (two dollar margaritas, Thursday night. I do NOT recommend the bacon wrapped sirloin unless you can make sure they will cook it exactly as you ask. BUT, the beef soup is amazing. Potato undercooked.) We saw True Grit, great for a western! I didn’t fully understand the hype, because the story line just sort of ends matter of factly. I even bought the third book in a series I was reading (The Uglies, Scott Westerfeld. Fourth book I’ve been told has pros and cons. I am choosing not to read it, I don’t think it has too much to do with the first three, as it has different characters. I WILL say, however, that it IS a little younger than my taste. It’s YA section too, but so is Hunger Games and they were way more intense. Read if you like, they’re interesting enough to read in your quiet time.)

I believe I will be starting The City of Embers series soon. Cooking up times to meet a friend and swap STUFF. Yay!

I was sick as a dog the next day, stomach bug that everyone has gotten by now. Grr. This one came with flu-like pain in my back and legs? Woorrrd, awful.

I’ve also done an organic meal swap with my mommy’s group…cooking for 5-6 families this time! Two meals each. I made Greek Beef and Orzo (Originally Greek Lamb and Orzo, but I have conniptions about buying lamb, haha. Amazing with cheese! Easy too, in fact I might post recipe below!) and Chicken/rice soup.

Greek Beef and Orzo (in less than 30 min)1 lb. ground beef
2 cans (14.5 oz each) diced tomatoes
1 cup orzo (orzo is found in rice section)
Salt/pepper, to taste
1 tbs Parsley
1 cup cheese (to taste)

Brown beef in large sauce pan using salt/pepper, drain fat. Add both cans diced tomatoes, and parsley (I added this to recipe, parsley is good and delicious for it!) Bring to boil, turn down LOW and add orzo. Cover and simmer 10-15 min, stirring occasionally until orzo soaks liquid and softens. Sprinkle cheese, serve!! (Thanks Betty Crocker Pasta!!)

My favorite finds recently:
The Falsies, Maybelline mascara. I use waterproof. Be sure to scrape off excess from brush to tube’s side!!
3D Vivid White toothpaste.
TreSemme naturals volume conditioner.

Christmas was great! I undercooked potatoes, danced horribly to Michael Jackson’s Dance game on Wii, and fully recovered from my chemical burn (that I thought was poison ivy in my last post? UHM, so yeah…wouldn’t recommend Olay’s sensitive skin moisturizer!!). I just kept rubbing that stuff in every time it got painful and my drying agent (for poison ivy, no less) would work too well. It just kept making it worse! For A MONTH. ON MY FACE. Thanks!

Lillian and Addie have been super fun…Addie has been going through a phase where she thinks she’s an adult. I think we’ve nipped that in the rear by now. She says funny things, ALL the time.
Like, “Mommy, are those spanking spoons and forks over there??” very loudly in a Wal-Mart aisle, pointing to a random set on an end cap. Hilarious, horrifying, straight up Arkansas-like. (And no, I could care less what anyone feels about that one)

Lillian is signing back to me! Simple, easy things, but this is the most fun stage and I loooove it. She knows “More”, “Milk”, “Cracker”, “Eat” (described with noise too), and "All Done". She recognizes many more, but those are the ones she does on her own with no assistance so far! She says “Thank You”, “Momma/Dada/Addie”, "Bye", "Hi", “Eggs”, and “NO”, which is by far her favorite.

Doug has recently found out good news, he might be graduating with an associates in science by the end of this year! If he can keep this up, this running dog tired and crazily thing til then. I’m so proud of him, I just keep hoping we will have an amazingly good 2011!!

To sum it up, its been a rocky start…but I’m so grateful for everything God has worked out for us, and we’re anxious to see what this year unfolds for The Erbs!!

-Kesolyn