We've had such a great, lazy summer. We even surprised the girls and took them to the beach for the first time. We did discover, vacationing with kids is a LITTLE different than vacationing alone. But really in all honesty, we were pretty much on the same schedule when we were there alone vs. taking them. There was just a lot less Yeungling and way more floaties to carry to and from the beach. Perhaps it was the time we actually arrived (9:30PM), and how dead set I was on seeing their faces as they experienced their first wave on their young feet, but they didn't exactly react how I thought they would. I blame it on the car ride, and maybe a little bit on myself for building it up in my mind. We women have a way of doing that. I also envisioned our family beach picture being this perfectly planned "random" happening...although I DID pack exactly what I wanted us to wear and allowed NOBODY to touch said clothing out of fear of spoiling my imagined PERFECT beach picture. All without contracting an actual photographer. We would be on the grassy knolls of the beach, sitting just so, legs folded neatly, sunkissed tans against our supernatural white plastered smiles, of course at sunset when the light is hitting just right...
Its a dreary shot by a random co-vacationer on our last morning. I had anxiety about this moment the whole trip. It HAD to happen. Her own punk of a kid wouldn't get out of the background in the previous two shots, so we had to scoot over. My feet aren't totally in the shot...which was surprising, because choosing a woman to take this shot was no random coincidence. She was young enough, obviously reliant since God had given her life to take care of, somewhat nicely put together for the beach at so early an hour, I thought for sure she would be the perfect stranger to take the shot. How could a woman miss getting shoes in the frame? Or zooming completely out? Aside from all these over-analyzations, it actually ended up being PERFECT. Because, it actually captures that exact moment. Lillian, grumpy and a little tired, sunburned from yesterday's play. Addie's personality, miss picture perfect. Doug, overwhelmed by my desperate need to do this before we left, and being the peace making, patient, reliable, MAKE IT HAPPEN kind of guy he is. (I mean, look at that charm!!) And me, being the mom that will probably make this sound like the most spur of the moment, stress free, perfect shot before we carelessly made our way back to our home state in the years to come. Why do we do that to ourselves? Oy. My lack of documenting everything this year only intesifies my pangs of guilt. Why didn't I take more video? Write things down?
I suppose some of this spills over from my anxiety this week. Its my birthday week. (silent cheer). I will be enrolling Addie in FIRST grade. Whaaa? And, we have an open house planned for Saturday. Any ONE of these events would normally cause me to take off running in hopes of burning all my freak outs, well...out. Oh yeah, I do that now. Run. Big lifestyle changes happening, for the better! I am actually training for a half marathon in October, at the Rock'N'Roll St. Louis half marathon with my running coach. We're meeting half way since she lives in Wisconsin now to do this together. SO exciting!! My longest run so far has been 10 miles. Legs like jello, but swelling pride as I practice mind over body. You have to do a lot of that with running. Or just with any fitness goal. Its amazing what your mind can tell your body will happen, and your body responding to that. I am absolutely fascinated by this. I don't want to practice squats, lunges, planks, kettlebells, and cardio for my running goals, but seeing gradual results has really encouraged me to do more. AND, if Doug expects a third Erb child, I want to do it right. I want to be fit before, and during my third pregnancy so my after will be a quick snap back. I know, I know...so many of you will say, "But Keslyn, you are already thin!! What more could you want?" Strength my friends, strength. And tone. And muscle mass. I don't want anything ridiculous, but I really want to be a well oiled machine.
Eating clean has been a bit part of this recently. If you don't know what eating clean is, its basically eating fresh foods that have as little manmade changes as possible. This also actually helps with my meal planning, because I'm not making some super elaborate concoction that takes me hours to create. I've also found fun in learning to create meals that are nutritious for my family. There have been a few times that I've had to use the line, "I need you to understand that this food is good for you, and I really want you to feed your body with it so you can be strong and healthy on the inside." to my kiddos. I'm hoping this change this early will redefine what they like and will shape their diets as grown ups. Had I grown up with what I know now, I know that would have been a big staple earlier on. Among all the other dreams I consistently come up with, going to school to be a nutritionist is becoming one of them. I'll post a few pictures of the meals we've been eating so you can have a better understanding of what I mean. (Also, the coffee you see is pretty much always decaf, except today's because in preparation of waking early to have quiet time with my devotional, I forgot to turn the grind OFF, which ground up the last of my coffee beans as well as mixing it with decaf. Oops. I've opted for no caffeine because caffeine is a big Kestan unleasher. Haha. I'm just nicer without it.)
"Does she blog? She should blog it!!" Doug hears this a lot. Yes yes, I will try and blog this more, and probably with recipes in the future. Truth be told, its almost more fun to snap a picture, edit it with multiple apps, and upload it to Instagram. Ohh, I'm on Instagram!! Tons more food ideas on there, plus I mix it up with a little of my style...
Hahah...just kidding with that last one. I'm really hoping to overcome a little fear about posting my progress as I'm coming closer to my goals, and maybe posting some differences I've been seeing (FINALLY) from clean eating and working out. Its all stuff I'm doing from home, and maybe it would be faster actually lifting in the gym, but this is more realistic for me and my schedule. Plus, I'm really NOT a gym buff. But I'd love any tips to really kick it up a notch, which you can get from other FITstagrammers...plus motivation. That's been my biggest help.
Anyways, long picture swelled post!! Kids are great, Lillian wants to be Addie, Addie wants to be a teenager, and teenagers want to be as cute as Addie, who wants to have responsibility levels like Lillian. Its all coming full circle. House is on the market, I keep praying for the right buyers...which might be working against my immediate hopes, since nobody has really come except one couple. I keep thinking, its all in God's timing. BUT, it wouldn't hurt to have a little extra prayers over it ;)
Peacelove.
Kes
