Let me address one of the more important questions I've had recently: YES, you can, in fact, EAT a raccoon. Yes, I've said it. Why do I ask such things? Like to see a train of thought? Okay...
"Man its chilly this morning. I should have run with a light jacket on...WHAT is that? FUDGE raccoons are SO much bigger than I imagined! $!$%#, he sees me...make a loud noise to scare him...(loud and scared cacaws escaping from my mouth, paired with clapping. Shut it, do YOU know how to scare off a raccoon?!?)...sticks. You can spear him with a stick from the side of the road...I wonder if Bear Grylls would use a stick to kill him...he would probably eat him too...can you eat raccoons?...I wonder if they have rabies or something...I should look that up when I get home..."
So yes, you can in fact eat raccoons, and it was at one time considered a delicacy. Over 100,000 raccoons are killed each year for their fur as well as having been sold to locals who actually roast them and prepare them as a meal. Its supposed to be amazing. President Calvin Coolidge had actually ordered a raccoon to be prepared as well as a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. You should always eat locally from trappers you can trust that will clean the body properly. The RULE is to leave a left back foot on, so as to prove that it is indeed a raccoon and not some other animal they are trying to pass as one. Of course, that must be removed before you start making it. Sick. There's your useless piece of information for today. You.Are.Welcome.
Why running? Because its free. And does not involve childcare. Adele is amazing for running your emotions out. That girl knows hurt.
Check this baby out, complete with crappy power point. For the first time in my adult life I crawled into the fetal position and cried and rocked after this beauty graced my head with its presence. My wooden rolling pin is evil, pure evil I tell you. Though, I can say that I was certainly not mad any more...it did work for that. I mean, who hits themselves with a rolling pin?!?
I was going crazy trying to finish Lillian's 2nd birthday cake, complete with homemade Marshmellow Fondant (delicious by the way) and growing frustrations mounted as the girls began fighting. And screaming. And tattling. I was about to roll the pretty fondant off my pin and onto the pre-frosted cake when it started to melt off, and anger doubled as I pulled it off and some of the cake came with it, ruining the fondant. You can't roll that away once the chocolate is in there. So I tried salvaging it by pulling some of the chocolate coated pieces off, which ended up beign half the fondant. Big nostril flare, teeth grit, yelling grumbling in the back of my throat, I threw that piece back down. I decided to further take out my anger by pulling it all so I could squeeze it to death with my fingers and show it just how it had ruined my afternoon, and didn't realize the top of the pin still had a good chunk of fondant rolled onto it, pulling the pin into the air in my wild movement too and smacking me right in the forehead. At first I could not believe it had happened, I took a few steps back, then the pain seared its path all the way to my brain in which I immediately went fetal womb position to comfort myself. Throbbing. Knife-like jabs to my brain pulsating over and over. Here I come into the room where Doug is doing his homework, not wanting to use the girls' bathroom because I didn't want them to see me crying when I always tell them to shake it off. Doug looks up and big giant blue german eyes stare at my forehead, "What the hell happened? Are you bleeding?!"
"No, am I?" I say.
"Oh, its dye on your hands. What did you do?!"
(Notice how it changed to what did I do. I guess things don't usually just happen to me, I always invoke these situations upon myself. Sigh.)
SuperDoug comes to save the day, helping me, fixing the girls lunch, asking me if there's anything else he can do before going back to the room for more Book Time. Book Time is like another woman, I hate her. I had a good few months with him before she came back, that skank. She just can't stay away, sinks her claws into him with the promise of more money and better positions for management opportunity. Whore.
Anyways, 16 kids and 17 growed ups later, I am exhausted. It has been a day. Oh, and another teeny incident: Addie took the scissors to her lovely locks. Cut a big chunk out so "she could put it in the switch pot." Someone has been watching too much pretty princess and bad WITCH, haha "switch", and thought up a game where she could come up with her own potion with her own hair. Awesome. I had fun trying to fix that mess, hahaha. About an hour before the party I discovered someone's little fingers had gotten into the six hour cake I had just slaved over. It was quite noticable, with the half eaten owl babies I had made for toppings, and finger holes. Luckily, it was one side, I just cut that side off and served the rest. I'm not going to lie, I cried twice that day...
Thank you Pinterest for thousands of projects and ideas! Now I'm making these crazy things, like a pillow that has piping all around it. Have you ever tried making piping with a zipper foot? NOT easy. It was an ambitious project. And now I'm leary of making a second, which of course I have to make because there is fighting over just one. But I now have a floor pillow!
I totally get this. It is the title of my life book. The whole picture is stupid and cheesy, and awful photoshop, but the quote is golden. Because if I didn't laugh, and let others laugh at the things that happen in my life, I would probably cry!
I went to a Couple's Shower yesterday, I didn't even know they did those. Loved it! It was for my best friend, the people there were the best. I haven't laughed so hard or been entertained like that in quite some time. I am truly certain I have the best variety of friends!!
I'll close with a quote from my little two year old dolly:
"Addie, EAT!!"
Hahaha, that definitely sums up what she thinks. Its the three of us (Daddy Mommy Lillian), and then Addie--in her frame of mind. She's the midget adult of the family, because every family has one!! :D
Kesolyn
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