First stab at blogging

Not that this is super new to me, in fact this reminds me a LOT of Xanga. If any of you were Glam Girls, hello again ;) YOU know what I'm talking about. I feel its important that if you haven't already read my About Me, you should. This is different than the Facebook version I put out, because I'll be talking to you like a close friend. Here goes.

My daughter decided to run around naked a couple of days ago, which is new to me. I asked her what she was doing, and she said she was a puppy (which is NOT new either) and that since puppies are naked, she should be naked. Which would be fine, except we're not potty trained 100% yet. It was cute and funny, then like waiting for a ticking time bomb. And I am NOT cleaning poop off the floor...any more. YES, I did say any more. I don't even know how many times I've had to clean the carpets because of this potty training deal, pretty sure we keep Tuff Stuff in company. Hence the steam cleaner. This is gross. Can't tell you how often I lay both girls side by side to change poopy diapers, its like they're on the same clock.

We finally talked more seriously and decided to sell the dog. Aside from the fact that I despised her being near me, I was pretty much done with her. I don't consider myself a cat person, and not so sure about being a dog person after this. She was SOOOO needy, had to be touching me all the time, had to follow me around, had to be in the same frickin room. Which is cute, but super irritating. After having a baby, for me at least, it seems I become a clean freak. You just have to. There was hair, everrrrrywhere. Sick. I couldn't walk around naked without a cold nose on my butt, which is DOUBLE sick. I am NOT a person that likes to be touched unless its of my own decision, and I am not a lay all over each other person. So I felt smothered. And I broke up with her. hahahaha. I know it sounds sad, but I wasn't the least bit sad to say goodbye. Yeah, I have a weird detachment to animals, I've never boohoo'd about never seeing one again. On the other hand, my husband is not this way...and it was hard for him. So I try hard to hide my relief. We poured I dont' know how much into that dog, at least two grand, and its like an investment to me. If its not shelling out a good return (which she wasn't), then sell it. And I did. I don't even know how much she tore up would total, garden is a mess, paw prints everywhere. Yard has a "my dog just crapped" smell to it. Sick, again. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Its done, and I'm happy. Still not really talking much to Addie about it, and she's only asked once. Daddy said she went to play with other puppies. She understood.

Yesterday evening I was sorting laundry, which seems never ending, and heard Addie laughing. Turns out she found someone else to torture since Piper was nowhere to be found. Lillian. Yikes. She was in her Jenny Jump Up (girl version of Johnny Jump Up, doorway jumper) and Addie was laughing hysterically as she spun her around and around as fast as she could. It pretty much mortified me!! When she was still, her eyes kept rolling right to left, then left to right. This was slightly funny when I was playing with her doing it, but that was just once when Addie was hiding in her room pooping her pants. Its one of those things that's funny if you do it, but not when your daughter does!! Have to watch out for that again.

Taking the girls to the Wild Animal Safari tomorrow, I love going and doing with them. This will be Lillian's first time going, Addie's 4th. Hoping some of the other mom's will be able to go with us, its always so much fun!! Last time there was a capuchian monkey out who climbed all over me, which slightly made me want throw him off when I felt his little weirdo hands hahaha...but it was a cool experience.

I had so much more to talk about earlier. This was before I couldn't figure out how to tether my phone to the computer. Damnit it made me so mad. I felt like Ben Stiller jumping up onto the desk slapping the computer and howling like a monkey raging mad at it (Zoolander). We don't have internet service on our road, because there are only 3 houses and to do so WE would have to pay like 10k just to set up a new line to us. Not happening. So we use it through our phones, which have to be plugged into the computer. Slightly aggravating, but it works...most of the time. Doug is genius with computers, and I know nothing. He told me how to turn tethering on on his phone, and I felt like I had just opened Pandora's Box. It was great knowing something and making it work. Not usually the case with me, I'm like the dumbass that keeps running through the woods getting splinters and scratches instead of just stopping to figure out a way around it. Same with electronics, I'll break them before I figure it out because I don't stop messing with them til they are finito. Which is why Doug tells me I'm not allowed to touch his things, hahahah. Note taken babe.

Doug found a different wine for me to try, I'm excited. If anyone wants to help me drink this other box of wine he brought home, get on it...seriouslyy. By boat, by plane, I don't care how you come just get here. Just make sure its at a decent time. I'm getting old, and I feel it. I've started noticing things about my body that have changed, so not cool. In the words of David Blane's remake: "What the EFF??" (hahah, type in David Blane on youtube, its the gay guys one. Hilarious.) I know I've had two kids, but I was supposed to be young forever. I keep looking at the stretch mark coming up from my belly button, and though its not necessarily huge, I proclaim it as my battle wound. There's skin under my neck I can pinch and pull down, a leftover from a plump face I'm sure. SO not cool. But then again, nobody will ever be happy with themselves, take a look at Heidi Montag...that B is scary. WTH was she thinking? Guh-ROSSSS. That reminds me that Doug thinks I'm that girl in that Cheetos commercial, who says "I must be on the ugly side of town, because everyone here is GUH-ROSSSSSSS." I laugh. I'm really not fake. He just thought I had that valley girl thing going when he met me. It was called the bait and switch, he thought I had money. BAHAHAHAHAH. He thought I was a super classy goody-goody, AHAHAHAHAHA............I didn't let him meet my crazy extended family til after he put a ring on it. That's how we do. Ya heard?? He couldn't help himself. Good thing we were right for each other and could grow together.

That's all I've got. Follow me, I like to lead. With my big head. ((that's what she said, hahaha, Lindsey)) I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm glad to have good friends to do it with!!!!!!!

-kes