The funny thing about sharing your life in increments, is that there are often certain things that stand out. And then there are also things that SCAR you...
Its been nice having the warmer weather, so nice that it seems sun and water (and the beautiful smell of freshly applied sunscreen, which often brings its own euphoric feeling) go hand in hand. With nothing to do, and my current Father's Day purchase and Victorias Secret sale (3 bras for $65 is pretty heavenly to me) looming me towards free activities, I decided to bust out that magnificent 2-ring pool. We all know how luxurious the 3-ring pools are, but being afraid my children will become accustomed to the "spoiled" life, I opted not to travel that road just yet. (please tell me you are understanding my sarcastic ways of writing by now)
I filled it, showed Addie how to do it herself, then layed out on my hot pink mat, which only endorses that it is summer and it can commence full force. You'd never think such a silly activity as "laying out" could be SO luxurious (there's that word again) until you've had two kids...and have them with you, at the same time. Aside from them running around and Lillian occasionally coming to sit on me to let me know she still loved me, it was fairly easy going.
How cute are they?
I even decided lunch on a blanket in the shade would be just perfect for my little ladies. I carefully cut the summer sausage , the medium cheddar cheese, and grabbing the scrumptious ritz garden vegetable crackers, headed outside. Lil came and went, all to worried the pool would be lonely without her constant companionship. She's more of a grazer anyways. Suddenly, without any previous hints, our good times lose purchase and come to a complete halt.
It is at once nap time behavior, fighting and bossing, hysterical girl behavior such as crying at the whim because your sister won't eat the cracker and cheese sandwich you made her. Feeling rejected, you stomp off with your hands in firm fists beside your hips, arms stiff straight, teeth grit, deep growl. We're done.
Getting up, I calmly ask (or firmly yell) for her to dry off and go inside for nap time. Lillian is a dirty mess. As I'm lecturing on correct behavior, and stripping Lillian's wet clothes off, I discover she's also a STINKY, watery mess. What the heck?!? How long has THIS been going on?! I think back, it must have been when I was cutting the cheese (insert your dumb ironic crack here).
Disgusted, a thought came to me. She was in and out of the pool while eating, and she was sitting on me before that. As if my brain only needed a perpetual light bulb to signal correct synapses had taken place, I realize her cute but poopy butt was all over me!! NO!!!!! WHY?!?!? The pool! That means ADDIE is gross too!! EVERYBODY strip, NOW, and get in the tub!!!
Meelo was of course, of absolutely no help.
Leaving the mess outside, we all usher inside and shower. Have you ever had to shower with two little people before? Having been frustrated and a big baby just before having to? Everyone clean, changed, and in bed. Our shower towels in hand, I go outside to collect the towels out there and now dirty swimsuits to start them right away in the washer. I am suddenly and painfully aware I am in nothing but my birthday suit, wearing nothing but a scowl. Ahhhh!! My mind was elsewhere!! Funny how situations like that make you feel you are waiting for nothing less than a strange man to come out of the woods, and happening to carry a camera to photograph strange Arkansas birds, catch you in your most stupidly vulnerable moment. What a day.
In other news, I bought two-inch filet mignons (a new cut at your local walmart), ribeyes, and a beautiful whiskey decanter set for Doug for Father's Day. He's just a special guy like that, my plan to coo about how he's becoming a distinguished man.
Turns out, I can't read a calendar and am too ignorant to ask, so I gave it a week too early. In fact, I teased him he wouldn't know all that week what it was. "The Distinguished Gentleman married a dumb commoner" if it were being told in a book...and just so some of you know, I loathe it when dumb comments take over my fb. Or teasing back and forth dumb things on MY page. It's sort of what YOURS is for! That's a beacon for my "country and dont care" family members. Pretending to be dumb for show is NOT funny!! There. It's done.
I went to that ProScout deal, and got a call back saying I had "nice style" and "cool hair". When I opened my mouth to say thank you, a dumb redneck fell out. Literally, I turned all country under the pressure. I will not be participating in August at the New Orleans convention. Especially after learning he told my cousin she was pretty and could go commercial. Having no same confidence bestowed upon me, and learning I am technically "short and old", which would be harder unless I photographed well, I opt not to. Plus, it's $800, for a "maybe".
The Virgin's Lover by Philippa Gregory just got interesting. This one is about Queen Elizabeth. Not some trashy novel, as the title suggests ;) It's supposed to be true and embellished events. I also read Something Blue by Emily Giffin. Good book, easy read. I hear all of hers are like that, easy summer reads...here I come!
I promise promise to work on shortening these posts. Some things just require greater detail...otherwise, how would you understand how ridiculous my life moments are?!
Love to everyone,
Kes
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